Wisdom

I am in such awe of God, as He heals my body. I am in such awe of His love and grace and peace that He has given to me.


Sometimes I will admit that my peace is disturbed and I have to get a hold of myself again and realize that the Word of God will not fail. It will never fail.


Lately, I haven't had anything fun to write about. This trial has been difficult to say the very least. Every day I seem to be faced with new challenges.


I honestly don't know what I would have done without all of you praying for me. I appreciate it so much. I still need your prayers. This is a fight for my life, as you know.


I am praying for each of you, as you have prayed for me. I know and can feel sometimes when I wonder where God is that someone out there is praying for me at any given hour. Wow! What an honor.


I'll blog more later. BY HIS STRIPES!


Some of you may remember the old song - it is also a healing scripture verse...


For He was wounded for our trangressions;
He was bruised for our iniquities;
Surely He bore our sorrows;
And by His stripes I am healed!

Isaiah 53:5

Finally Home!

Early yesterday afternoon the doctor came in my room and asked if I wanted to go home. I said sure. He asked me if I felt like I could handle it and I said yes. Well, I still had some medicine to take, so I did finally get to leave about 6:45 pm. That was a very long day.

Apparently I was so extremely dehyrdrated that he told us that if I had passed out, he wasn't sure if they could have "brought me back" from the "other side". Thank God the doctor saw me sitting in the waiting room.

I was fed this huge amount of food every day. I couldn't taste it or feel it but I guess in the end I could tell a huge difference. I have a great appetite again and I feel like talking and I'm not sleeping nearly as much as I had been. I am usually a person to sleep 6 - 8 hours a night, but 6 is usually ok with me. I was sleeping 12 - 13 hours a night and still very tired. I did take a 2 1/2 hour nap today, but that's a lot less than what I was doing.

I had a largest bag of fluids every day that I have ever seen as well, so I am totally hydrated. Thank you Lord. You know what is kind of scary to me though...how easily I could have died and yet feel so good now. Wow!

Yesterday Barry asked Dr. Momin about how long could expect someone to live with liver cancer and he shot Barry a glance and said this is not liver cancer. It is colon cancer and it has metastasized to the liver and lungs. Dr. Momin said in most cases one or two months. She is way passed that.

He did tell Barry to pay particular attention to me regarding how I looked on Thursday when he saw me as compared to how I look now. Dr. said last night your wife told me that she now has the sparkle back in her eyes. She does.

I have an appointment for 8:00 am Tuesday, July 3 for the PET Scan. I will then see Dr. Momin at 1:15 on Thursday, July 5th for the results. Please keep this in prayer.

I have lost all of my hair now, but even that doesn't bother me. I am alive and well and can't wait to get out there to serve the Lord like I am used to.

Thank you all so very, very much for your concern and prayer! Will blog more later. Love you all!

New Prayer Requests

These are some of the problems that some of our former inmates are facing: Life is tough on the outside for many of them!

Mary’s Daughter – Marie - Won't do like she should, sleeping around and very, very rebellious. Sleeps on the street sometimes and has seen way more than a girl her age should have to see by her own will.

Patricia Cobb – Trying to Get Baby Back - Has given her heart and life to the Lord, but was on drugs before. Her sister now has her baby and won't give her back. The sister and her husband are not serving the Lord in any way.

Irene – Lesbian relationship -this lady was a minister of the Gospel.

Angel’s baby girl, Kiera, 18, quit college and moved out of state to be with some guy. Angel is having a hard time with that. Both of them need prayer desperately.

This will be transitional housing for ladies coming out of prison or that are just on the streets. Opens July 15th – The Jubilee House – Free Indeed Church – Gratiot and Mack

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These are not related to the prisons:

Debbie to quit smoking. She is also having some physical problems with her blood pressure right now.

The 50 kids that were at a friend’s funeral from suicide this week that gave their lives to Christ.

Prayer for the man that was sitting by a restaurant, laying and nearly falling in Telegraph. He said he’s not a bad guy, then he said yes I am. Pray for him. He was very drunk and very far away from home.

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Short update on me: Today I am feeling stronger and stronger. They are feeding me through my port and it seems to be strengthening me. My blood count is still extremely low, but I am expecting that to come up quickly. I had several other tests that came back negative for any kind of bugs in places that they didn't need to be. Praise be to God. I love you all!

Ok, the doctor just came in at 10:00 pm to talk to me. He ask me if I was comfortable going home. I said yes. They are going to feed me for the next 24 hours and Tuesday I get to go home. My blood level is still low, but he is trusting that by Tuesday it will be going up. He said that the next treatment, which is the last one I will be taking, he is going to put off until at least another week. He thinks I need the break and I agree, then he will test me with a PET Scan again after the 4th of July. Thank you Lord!

Saturday

It's been a very l--o--n--g couple of days. I didn't realize everything that was going on in my body at the time, but, now I realize just how sick I was. He told Barry that I was a VERY sick woman. The dehydration was clear to him but not to me. I had been drinking lots and lots of water, so I thought everything was fine. They told me this kind of dehydration was like putting a teaspoon of water on a forest fire. Who knew?

I would look into my own eyes (and they look alot different now that I don't have any hair) but I couldn't see any life at all. They were just like someone else's eyes starring back at me. Not so good. My eyes have always been bright and sparkly.

I am very thankful that the doctor saw me sitting in that waiting room.

My blood count is hanging around .06, which is still not good at all. He is expecting it to rise again and be fine shortly. This is my white blood count, and it doesn't allow you to feel sick.

He said that I can go home probably Monday or Tuesday.

He also said that my liver has shrunk greatly. He was really smiling about that.

This morning when I woke up I felt like I could have gone to a street fair somewhere. Just get out of here and go somewhere was my philosophy. Well, I guess I was smart just to stay here (like I had a choice), cause now I'm kind of tired again.

Our friends, Duane and Myra, came to visit me today and when they left, of course, they prayed with me. They were both sitting in a chair right across from me and while he was praying I saw something like a disc. The colors were on like a sphere and I believe there was a dove on it too. Around it were many variations of blue, with some pink and white too. Anyway the disc turned and turned and turned and turned, I couldn't tell you how many times, but it turned and turned. I wasn't afraid of it and I realized it was HEALING coming to me. I told them what I had seen and we rejoiced together.

Not 2 minutes after they left, the doctor came in to see me and gave me the good news of the liver decreasing dramatically.

News!

First of all, before I go any further, I want to thank each of you that came to our home last night to pray for me. We both appreciate it so much.

Next, I had to come in today to the Cancer Center because I have a Urinary Tract Infection. I began treatment yesterday and was to continue for one hour today and one hour tomorrow.

However, when I got here today my Doctor saw me sitting in the waiting from of the treatment center and walked over to talk to us because he said that as soon as he saw me, he knew something was wrong. He wasn't here yesterday. He said that I am extremely dehydrated. He also said that my blood count was .07 again and that he was going to admit me. He also asked me what should he do to know that I am sick. I told him that I was just really tired and cold and I don't have an appetite right now. He said that I am opposite of the little boy that cries wolf. He can't know I am sick if I don't call him. He asked me how much pain I was in and I told him none. He said that for me, we are going to have to figure out some way to tell if I am in pain...I told him that my Mom had an extremely high tolerance for pain and maybe I am the same way. He looked at Barry and Barry said she's not a complainer and she really hasn't said anything about hurting, just the mouth sores and no appetite and tired, but we attributed it all to the chemo and anti-body.

Anyway I will be here for 3 or 4 days and during that time they are going to do a CT Scan, he said it would be like a sneak preview of the PET Scan.

I am going to be in a private room as soon as one becomes available. I can't have any fresh fruits, veggies, flowers or anyone sick around me. Well visitors are always appreciated!

Hopefully I will feel like blogging more soon!

The doctor says that once I get re-hydrated and he can take care of the UTI and the mouth sores, I should feel as good as new! Hurray!

Love you all!

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Decisions can come at quite a cost to us. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. Making decisions can be very hard at times.

I, personally, am in the process of making the decision to quit chemo. The chemo has been extremely hard on me and today is Tuesday. I just began to feel half way normal yesterday. The chemo and the anti-body took place last Wednesday. Guess what? Tomorrow is the anti-body AGAIN!!! I have lost most all of my hair, it began last Monday, and my face looks like a roadmap that you put the little push pins in to say I have gone here or I am going here. It's like a connect the dots. I was still nauseated yesterday. The doctor says that means that the anti-body is working.

Tomorrow after I have this anti-body I will only have one more left and then I will get another PET Scan. That's the scan, you may know, that tells you if there is any more cancer in your body.

You have been such an amazing "Blog Family" I can hardly believe it. You pray and pray and care and love....thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts. Hopefully, I will feel like blogging again this week.

I have to go get my hair "buzzed" today so I can wear the wigs I chose without all of the scabs and hair falling out. I forgot to tell you that from the antibody my scalp is one big scab. Actually it's lots of little scabs but you can't really tell it because it feels like one big one.

Thank you again for all of your comments, love and prayers!
Please pray that we (basically I) make the right decision.

Pride

Yesterday, as I said we tried a new church out and it happens to be one of our friends that just began this church last week. The format was not like any church we had been to, but we really did like it. We felt God's spirit there. We enjoyed the music, the altar prayer (they have you come to the altar before the music and the sermon so you can erase all of the things on your mind and ask God to forgive you of anything you need, so you can enter into His Presence with a clear heart and mind. I like that. Sometimes we take so much "baggage" into the service with us that we couldn't hear from God if we wanted to. He's trying to speak in that still small voice but we have crowded Him out with all of that other unimportant stuff.

Anyway while she was teaching, she was saying that every morning we need to get up and thank God for waking us up and starting us on our way. We need to give Him the glory for everything, including the day ahead of us. If we don't that's just our pride getting in the way. I thought about that for a few minutes and realized she was so right. Who am I to think that I can take such good care of myself throughout the night and the day that I don't have the need to thank God for the many blessings He has given me and thank Him for waking me up and keeping me? For me, that was a form of pride that I needed to get rid of. I didn't really realize it was pride, but yep, maybe even arrogance goes right along with that. God forgive me for being prideful toward You!

Obadiah 1:3 - The pride of thine heart hath deceived thee....

Our 29th Anniversary

Today we are going to try a new church out and are pretty excited about it. Today is also our 29th Anniversary. It has been many wonderful years with their ups and downs but I wouldn't trade my hubby for a million dollars. I see all of these people getting divorced and I am just believing to stay alive to celebrate many more.

I do realize that not everyone has had the wonderful marriage that I have had, the support and the love, but I am so thankful for everyday! God has been good so to me I can't even comprehend it!

Love you Bear!

Overwhelmed with God's Love

I have to tell you that both Barry and I are completely overwhelmed with the kindness that all of you have shown to us. Only Eternity can repay you for your prayers, your thoughts and your love.

Today I feel good. I am a little tired, but hey, I can surely deal with tiredness. I am not as spunky as I would like to be, but again, I can deal with it. I will get there with God's help.

After praying and talking to God about the high blood levels that I received in the doctor's report, I was reflecting on all of the people praying on the blogs and all of the people on my email that have been praying for me, I realized that Pat is right, everyone was storming the gates of Heaven with prayer and stomping on the devil! Thank you so much. That's what brothers and sisters are for.

Last night after Barry left for work, I began reading the comments that everyone had left throughout the day and then there would be someone that said Ms. Terry or Ms. Donna had told them to stop by and leave a comment, so I would have to go on their blog to see who they were and what they were all about. By the time I finished it was about 4:00 am. I was in awe to see people literally from all over the world that were concerned for me.

I crawled in bed finally and began reading Psalms 8. First I read the Message Bible and then I went to the King James.

The King James says: (Verse 9) O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

Yep, that is right.

Then I read the Message and it says (Verse 9) God, brilliant Lord, your name echoes around the world.

Yep that says it even better and it so applied to how I felt after reading all of your blogs!

At the Hospital

Well, here I am again, sitting in this chair being infused with Erbitux. They say I will be out of here in an hour! Hurray!

Ok, are you guys ready for what prayer has done?????? Blood levels up from .07 on Wednesday to .09 on Thursday to.... 5.3 yesterday! When they gave me the news, I am sorry to tell you that I was surprised. Now I ask you didn't we pray? Why is it we ask God for a miracle and when we get it we are surprised?

This is the infusion that I will be getting for 6 more weeks every Wednesday. It is not chemo but the anti-body that will blast the tumors. Next week it will be the chemo plus the antibody which is what I took a couple of weeks ago.

Thank you so much for praying for our family! Only in Eternity can repay you!

Update

Hi All My Dear Blogger Friends!


Thanks so much for keeping such a good eye on me. I really do appreciate it. This is the first time that I have even felt like blogging at all and I believe it will be short..to which you say...finally.


Anyway, Thursday, I went to the doctor and he spent nearly 1 1/2 hours with us. He explained and explained well. I understand what he is doing so much better.

I believe I told you about the rash that I have. I look pretty rough, as well as feel rough. I still haven't recuperated very well. For those three days that I had the company I felt wonderful and then after that it became all down hill. I didn't even feel like going to Sara's Son, Mac's graduation and also another dear friend's daughter either. I have pretty much been in bed since Thursday. I can't keep anything in me. I eat and hit the bathroom almost immediately. I am beginning to have a little better appetite. Please keep me in prayer.

The doctor said that he attended a meeting Wednesday with the CEO of the company that makes the anti-body. Mr. CEO says that the extreme rashes (like I have) are working. That is one of the evidences. Hurray! He also said that it is greatly successful in reducing all lung tumors.

He says when my blood levels come up that I will be able to keep things where they belong. I'm still w-a-i-t-i-n-g! Hope it is really soon.

Gotta run for now. Love and appreciate you all. Thank you KayMac for the card. It surprised me and touched my heart all at once. God bless you! Talk to ya when I am up to it again. Like Sara says...By His Stripes - for sure!